By Ben Disney
Who Makes the First Move? series, Nov. 4
“Making the first move to patch up things shouldn’t always come from the one who made the mistake but it should come from the one who understands.” Unknown
“There are many persons ready to do what is right because in their hearts they know it is right. But they hesitate, waiting for the other fellow to make the first move - and he, in turn, waits for you.” Marian Anderson
"Do I love you because you’re beautiful, or are you beautiful because I love you?" Richard Rodgers and Oscar Hammerstein II, Cinderella
So who makes the first move? It’s a crucial question in any relationship. When one or both parties have been hurt or injured, it can be an all too common response. Both individuals cross their arms, bottle up their anger, and wait for the other to make the first move; which inevitably leads to a stalemate because neither one is willing to apologize first or take the first step in trying to put the relationship back together again. That’s when you hear phrases like “Over my dead body,” “It’ll be a cold day in hell,” or the always effective comeback “You’re the one who started it. Now you fix it.”
The result is two immovable objects and an icy standoff that lowers the room temperature by forty degrees. When a relationship hits an impasse like that, nothing is going to happen until someone in the mix decides to move first. Of course there is risk in being the one who makes the first move. It’s a vulnerable position. You might get rejected or hurt even more. You may appear weak or give the impression that you’re giving up or caving in just for the sake of peace. It’s hard to back down if you believe you’re right and the other person is wrong. The truth is at some point we’ll have to decide “Do I want to be right or do I want to be reconciled?”
Theologically speaking, in our relationship with the divine God, is of course the One who always makes the first move. That may come as a surprise to some of you who have been on a Holy Grail search for God for some time now. Whether you know it or not, God has always been searching for you. That in turn causes us to rethink how we understand our relationship with God and how we live into all our relationships.
Beginning in November we’ll launch a series of sermons called “Who Makes the First Move?” Join us as we look for answers to that critically important question in the context of our personal lives and through the work and ministry of the church.
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