The Vine - News Blog

Thanksgiving Bags: return by Sunday, November 6

Thanksgiving will be here soon, and we’re once again sharing the bounty of the season with Fort Worth citizens. Again this year we're collecting specific items for clients of the United Community Centers and WestAid.
 

The Thanksgiving Bags with shopping lists attached are available at the church – either in the church office or on the Welcome Kiosks.
   
Participants, please return filled bags to Arborlawn by Sunday, Nov. 6. If you have any questions, please call the church office at 817-731-0701.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Compassion for the grieving provided by Hope for the Holidays service on Nov. 17

Once again this year we’re holding our special Hope for the Holidays service in advance of the holiday season. Join us Nov. 17 at 7 p.m. in the Sanctuary as we minister to hurting hearts, both in our church family and in the community around us. Hope for the Holidays worship combines beautiful music, inspiration, and prayer, offering those in attendance a chance to enter the season with comfort and hope. Everyone is invited to bring a token or symbol of loss to lay on the altar.
 

Coping Strategies for Grief During the Holidays
Part 3
 
To recap the discussion from Part 2, we learned that children grieve differently than adults. We also discussed the typical symptoms often seen in children who are grieving. They may have physical manifestations (i.e. tummy aches, nightmares, tantrums, be overly clingy or needy, become cranky, whine, even revert to baby talk). In grieving children of all ages, a change in grades and performance and change in friendships at school is a significant symptom, indicating the child would benefit by the help of a professional counselor.
   
In addition, they are less likely to experience continuing and intense grief feelings. One minute they may appear to be acting out their grief and the next playing happily like nothing has ever happened. This doesn’t mean they are fine or past their grief. Laughter and play doesn’t mean a child is through grieving.
   
Small children are not capable of abstract thinking and will look to you for facts to help them understand death. In addition, they may have difficulty putting their questions and fears into words. They will tend to act out their anger, fears, denial and wishful thinking. They are repetitive in their grief. They may come to you asking the same questions repeatedly because either they want a different answer or they just don’t understand the answer you’ve given them.
   
With every new stage of development, their grief may surface again as their understanding of loss and death changes. This also applies to special recurring events, such as birthdays.
   
Because children need to grieve as part of a family, they need your willingness to discuss death and loss with them. Here are a few suggestions to help children who are grieving:
   
Speak openly about what has happened, giving short, direct answers to their questions. Avoid using the terms “passed away,” “just sleeping,” or “we lost them,” as these terms cause confusion. Use the words die, died, and dead.
   
Tell the truth at a simple level; don’t lie. Be honest and specific. Children are intuitive and know when something doesn’t add up.
   
Allow the child to ask his or her own questions.
   
Help share memories, talking and even creating a memory book together, filled with pictures, stories, and drawings. This is something concrete that the person or object is now gone and helps them cope with the loss.
   
Be available and pay attention to their playtime. When you observe something different, gently approach them and encourage them to talk.
   
Realize that a grieving child may need a place to be alone, whether at school or at home.
   
Even very young children should have the option to attend the funeral. For their choice to be meaningful, you need to provide them details telling them what to expect, including viewing the body of the deceased. (A wonderful analogy for a child is to show them an empty sea shell; once holding a living creature, now gone. All that is left is the shell. So as they see this body, there is no longer a spirit or life inside the body). Reassure them their loved one is not cold, nor are they sleeping.
   
As much as possible, keep a normal routine for your child.
   
Listen, encourage them to talk about their loss again and again, as talking is the most effective tool for helping children and adolescents (and adults) deal with grief.
   
Share age appropriate books and videos together that discuss death and loss.
 
[ Part 3 resources: Journal of Hospice and Palliative Nursing, 2008; The Warm Place, Grief Support Center for Children; and We Were Gonna Have a Baby, But We Had an Angel Instead, by Pat Schweitzer. We will continue next week with Part 4. ]
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Renewing Our Vows: A vital part of our ongoing ministries

The initial response to our stewardship invitation has been outstanding. The first week of the “Renewing Our Vows” campaign resulted in 349 individuals and families standing strong in their faith and support of the mission and ministry of the church. Our goal is to have 500 individuals and families who will return the commitment card to the church or go online to ArborlawnUMC.org/give to discover ways to be a vital part of the ongoing ministry of the church. Will you be one of the 500 strong? In a difficult economy our hope is not that the same people will do more; it’s that more people will do the same.
 

Because of busy schedules and travel plans there are a number of people who have not yet had the opportunity to respond. If you haven’t had the chance to return your card or register online please do so as soon as possible. It’s not simply about fulfilling the needs of the church. It’s about our need to be generous and faithful followers of Jesus. It’s about our desire to live with a genuine sense of purpose and gratitude in response to what God has done and continues to do in our lives. Every gift matters. Every giver is important to the life of the church. Thank you for all you do.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

A Word from the Pastor: Timing is everything

By Ben Disney

Those of us who are sports fans know how fortunate we are to live in North Texas in this particular era. It’s been an amazing run for local teams including the Dallas Mavericks who are current NBA Champions, TCU with an impressive Rose Bowl victory, and the Texas Rangers now on the verge (as of press time) of possibly winning the World Series.
 

But as every diehard fan knows, enjoy it while you can because it may not happen again for a very long time.
   
Case in point: Miami quarterback Dan Marino made it to the Super Bowl in just his second season. But after his team lost to San Francisco in January 1985, Marino never made it back to the championship game for the rest of his 17 seasons in the NFL.
   
The Dallas Mavericks struggled for 31 years before winning their first NBA championship last year.
   
The Texas Rangers were mired in mediocrity for 39 years before reaching the elusive World Series.
   
The last time the Dallas Cowboys were in the Super Bowl was on Jan. 28, 1996, which now seems like a distant memory.
   
So, what’s true in sports is often true in life. Meaning, appreciate what you have, celebrate the real gifts and treasures that are yours right now. Never take things or people for granted. Worry less about what you don’t have and give thanks for what is already yours. Live fully in the moment without letting the concerns of tomorrow rob you of the joy of today. It’s easy to say but very hard for most of us to do.
   
The truth is we spend much of our time sleepwalking through life. The irony, of course, is the same message that might put some of you to sleep on a Sunday morning is really a message about waking us up; awakening us to a new life, a new hope, to God’s new purpose and design for our lives.
   
We know it deep down, but it’s hard to wake up because the world has a way of dulling our senses and lowering our expectations. Live fully and love deeply, because you never know what the future holds or when – or even if – all the good stuff will ever come back around again.
   
Don’t ever forget, these are good days even if they sometimes don’t feel so good. One day all the difficulties and uncertainties will fade and taking its place will be wonderful memories of just how blessed we really have been in this place and in these moments.
   
Timing is everything, and according to the One who lived in the fullness of time, the time is always now.
   
And do this, understanding the present time: The hour has already come for you to wake up from your slumber, because our salvation is nearer now than when we first believed. Romans 13:11
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Around Arborlawn - 10/28/11

WMAA BOOK CLUB
The  next meeting of the WMAA Book Club is Wednesday, Nov. 3 at 11:30 a.m. in Room 220, Main Building. We will be discussing A Mountain of Crumbs by Elena Gorokhova.
 
PRAYERS OF CELEBRATION
Congratulations to Jeffrey and Megan Eubank on the birth of their son, Benjamin Allan Eubank. He is also the grandson of Lindy Eubank.
 
POLY CENTER: WINTER CLOTHES
From Joanne Bittiker: Polytechnic Center (United Community Centers, Inc.) thanks you for all the donations of clothes you are generously giving. As winter approaches, our greatest needs seem to be shoes (especially tennis shoes and work shoes), jackets and coats, and blankets.  We have received the names of several volunteers.  If you can help on Wednesdays, we still have several vacancies. Please contact Joanne Bittiker for more details.
 
PRAYERS OF SYMPATHY
We offer prayers of condolence to Glen Rector and family in the death of Glen’s son, Marty Rector, and the family and friends of Jane Morrow.
 
MERRYMAKERS: GRAPEVINE SEA LIFE AQUARIUM
Merrymakers (Arborlawn’s Seniors Group) is going to Grapevine Sea Life Aquarium next Thursday, Nov. 3. The group will leave the church at 9:30 a.m. The cost is $19. Lunch is at the Rainforest Cafe. Gas cost is $5 per person. Contact Janet Roberson for details.
 
MERRYMAKERS POTLUCKS
Merrymakers (Arborlawn’s Seniors Group) usually meets on the fourth Wednesday of each month in the SAM Building at Noon for a potluck meal. Because of Thanksgiving in the fourth week of November, the next potluck is a week earlier than usual, Wednesday, Nov. 16. First time visitors don’t need to bring a dish. Some stay for games after the meal. For more details, contact Marilyn Anderson.
 
BOY SCOUTS CHILI SUPPER
Boy Scouts Troop 50 (a group that meets regularly at Arborlawn) is holding a Chili Supper fundraiser on Tuesday, Nov. 8, 6-7:30 p.m. in the SAM Building. Tickets – $4 per person or three tickets for $10 – will be on sale Sunday, Nov. 6 at one of the Welcome Kiosks in Lower Commons between services.
 
NICA FOR NOVEMBER: NEW TOYS FOR CHRISTMAS
The Northside Inter-Community Agency is asking for new Christmas toys for the month of November. Bring donations to the NICA baskets in Room 230 (adjacent to the kitchen) or to the SAM Building.
 
VOLUNTEERS NEEDED FOR WELCOME KIOSKS
From Carol Proctor: Volunteers are needed in the Welcome Kiosks in the Lower Commons (outside the main Sanctuary entrance) on Sunday mornings. The only requirements are a smile and willingness to meet new people. There are four shifts: 8:15-8:55 a.m., 9:25-10:05 a.m., 9:55-10:25 a.m., and 10:20-11 a.m. You can serve during whatever shift best suits your schedule. To volunteer, contact Kelly Keller or Carol Proctor. Thank you for your willingness to serve!
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

UMM meeting on Nov. 8: "organ crawl"

Arborlawn’s United Methodist Men (UMM) group will meet on Tuesday, Nov. 8 at 6:30 p.m. They will have an “organ crawl” to see the new Sanctuary organ. Men of the church are invited to enjoy this meeting. Jerry Westenkuehler (schedule permitting) will give us expert guidance. Extra: the group is also having a chili supper that night. Cost: $1.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

UMW general meeting November 1

The next general meeting of Arborlawn's United Methodist Women is Tuesday, Nov. 1 at 10 a.m. in the Gathering Area. This month's speaker is Lyle Mason, a Benefactor Relations Officer for the Methodist Children’s Home.
 
In addition to the listed mission (NICA) a love offering will be taken for the Secret Santa Fund at Methodist Children’s Home. This fund helps MCH provide Christmas presents for all of the children in residency in Waco.
 
Brunch of finger foods ($3) is from 10-10:30 a.m. The program is at 10:30 a.m., and a business meeting will be held after the program.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Pumpkin Patch and Trunk or Treat this Sunday, 5-7 p.m.

Our Pumpkin Patch and Trunk or Treat is this Sunday, Oct. 30, from 5-7 p.m. The weather forecast calls for clear skies and comfortable temperatures. Invite your friends and neighbors for this fun and free event. We will have hot dogs and drinks, lots of fun games, trunk or treat, a bounce house, face painting, and a lot of candy! Dress up in a non-scary costume and come have an evening of fun. Please leave your pets at home.
 
Would you like front row parking at the Pumpkin Patch? Would you  like to donate your car trunk to help hand out candy? Trunk or Treat is for you. If you would like to participate, please plan to be at the church at 4:45 p.m. to set up. You bring the car, we’ll supply the candy. Contact Libby Middleton for more details on Trunk or Treat.

We still need bags of candy and cake walk items for Pumpkin Patch and Trunk or Treat. Candy can be brought to the church anytime between now and Sunday. Bring cake walk baked items on Sunday and mark your item as “Cake Walk” and leave it in the office or in the upstairs kitchen. The kids love cakes, cupcakes, cookies etc. If you have any questions, please contact Kim Cordell.
 

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ArborlawnUMC.org

FaithWalk Rotation: God's Love, Oct. 30 through Nov. 20

This rotation is all about giving. As children we are called to practice good stewardship by giving generously of the God-given gifts of our talents, our time, and our money. God teaches us in His word to help those who are in trouble; assist the poor, the lonely, the fatherless, widows, and orphans. When we actively love and help others in need, we are acting out our faith.
 
Rotation rooms will be: Holy Word Theater, Circuit Riders, Artisan’s Market, and Discovery. We hope you can join us!
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Faith Community Nurse Ministry: Flu shots this Sunday; Van Beber speaking Nov. 10

Arborlawn’s Faith Community Nurse Ministry is offering free flu shots for adults this Sunday, Oct. 30 between 9:45 and 10:45 a.m. (and possibly after the late worship services) in room 262. The flu shots are sponsored by FCN through its covenant with Texas Health Harris Methodist Hospital. “Get the shot, not the flu.”
 

Dr. Anne Van Beber will speak here on Thursday, Nov. 10. Van Beber, a professor of dietetics at TCU, will speak on Healthy Eating for the Holidays at 7 p.m. in  Room 271. She will be using a “choose this not that” strategy, a format popularized on the Today Show. Child care is available by contacting Nell Cantwell (817-731-0701).
 
For more details about Faith Community Nurse Ministry, contact Pam Perrine, RN/FCN.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Manning recognized for service; UCC to benefit

By Joanne Bittiker
 
Edna Manning, who has done so much for the United Community Centers, including serving on the UCC board for years, helping to finance their new building, and beginning the clothing room when she saw the need, is being recognized by Bank of America.
 
The financial institution is issuing her a $5000 check for the Polytechnic Center. Thank you, Edna, for your vision and hard work.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Nativity Pageant Dec. 3 and 4; practices ongoing now

This year’s Nativity Pageant will be here before we know it. It’s December 3 and 4, with performances at 6 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. each night.
 
Upcoming practices include:
 
Sunday, Nov. 6 - Narrators and Innkeepers, 2-3 p.m.; Angels, 3-4 p.m.
 
Sunday, Nov. 13 - Props, 2-3 p.m.; Dress Rehearsal, 3-5 p.m.
 
Sunday, Nov. 20 - Backstage, Set, Props, Costumes, 1-2 p.m.; Musical run-through (All speaking parts, Mary and Joseph), 2-3:30 p.m.; Dancers and angels, 3-3:30 p.m.; Townspeople, Shepherds, Travelers run-through, 3:30-4:15 p.m.
 
Sunday, Nov. 27, No rehearsals
 
Friday, Dec. 2, Technical dress rehearsal (no costumes), 6-9 p.m.
 
Saturday, Dec. 3, Cast call, 5 p.m.; Performances, 6 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
 
Sunday, Dec. 4, Cast call, 5 p.m.; Performances, 6 p.m. and 7:30 p.m.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Newsprint edition of The Vine going monthly November 11

Beginning with the next newsprint issue of The Vine (Nov. 11), the production and distribution of this version will be on a monthly basis, the second Friday of each month. The decision to reduce the frequency of newsprint was made to lower our costs and exercise better stewardship of our resources.
   
The email-blog version will continue on a weekly basis. And, we are now producing the Sunday Vine, a text-only version you will see every week as an insert in the worship guides.
 
News deadline is every Monday at 10 a.m. Send stories and photos here.
   
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Fort Worth Youth Orchestra in concert here this Sunday

Concerts at Arborlawn presents the Fort Worth Youth Orchestra in concert this Sunday, Oct. 30, at 7 p.m. in the Sanctuary.
 
Tickets are available at the door and cost $10 for adults and $5 for students. Read more about the group at yofw.org.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Renewing Our Vows: Initial response outstanding

“With you we renew our vows to uphold this church through our prayers, our presence, our gifts, our service, and our witness.”
 
The initial response to our stewardship invitation has been outstanding. The first week of the Renewing Our Vows campaign resulted in 305 individuals and families standing strong in their faith and support of the mission and ministry of the church. Our goal is to have 500 individuals and families who will return the commitment card to the church or go online to ArborlawnUMC.org/give to discover ways to be a vital part of the ongoing ministry of the church. Will you be one of the 500 strong?
 
Because of busy schedules and travel plans, there are a number of people who have not yet had the opportunity to respond. If you haven’t had the chance to return your card or register online, please do so as soon as possible. It’s not simply about fulfilling the needs of the church. It’s about our need to be generous and faithful followers of Jesus. It’s about our desire to live with a genuine sense of purpose and gratitude in response to what God has done and continues to do in our lives. Every gift matters. Every giver is important to the life of the church. Thank you for all you do.
 

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ArborlawnUMC.org

Pumpkin Patch October 30; candy donations still sought

This year's Pumpkin Patch is Sunday, Oct. 30, 5-7 p.m. Invite your friends and neighbors for this fun and free event. We will have hot dogs and drinks, lots of fun games, trunk or treat, a bounce house, face painting, and a lot of candy! Dress up in a non-scary costume and come have an evening of fun. Please leave your pets at home.
 

We still need bags of candy and cake walk items for the event. Candy can be brought to the church anytime between now and Oct. 30. The cake walk baked items can be brought to church on Sunday, Oct. 30. Mark your item as "Cake Walk" and leave it in the office or in the upstairs kitchen. The kids love cakes, cupcakes, cookies etc. If you have any questions, please contact Kim Cordell at kim@arborlawnumc.org. Thank you!
 
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FaithWalk Sunday School Rotation: God's Love, Oct. 30 through Nov. 20
 
This rotation is all about giving. As children we are called to practice good stewardship by giving generously of the God-given gifts of our talents, our time, and our money. God teaches us in His word to help those who are in trouble; assist the poor, the lonely, the fatherless, widows, and orphans. When we actively love and help others in need, we are acting out our faith. Rotation rooms will be: Holy Word Theater, Circuit Riders, Artisan's Market, and Discovery. We hope you can join us!
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Pray in Faith study ongoing now through November 20

Arborlawn's Prayer Ministry is conducting the study “Pray in Faith” Sunday evenings from 4-5:30 p.m. in Room 222. Led by Bonny Jenista, the series is based on the book by T.W. Hunt and Claude King and is designed to help grow and strengthen our individual and corporate prayer life.
 

The series explores the essential elements of building and maintaining a genuine and meaningful prayer life. “Pray in Faith” is more than information about prayer. It’s about helping us become people immersed in prayer as we seek to hear the cries of our neighbor and listen for the voice of God. Our prayer is that Arborlawn will become a House of Prayer.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

A Word from the Pastor: An open letter to the congregation

By Ben Disney
 
Arborlawn is a remarkable congregation because of the faithful dedication of our people and the utter goodness of God. This year, 2011, has been an extraordinary year of tremendous challenges and opportunities. Arborlawn made the bold decision to step out in faith to construct new facilities which would give us the resources to reach deeper and farther into our community to make disciples for Jesus Christ. What you’ve done as a congregation is remarkable. It’s a testament to the power of God and the faith of our people. I marvel at what you’ve done in the midst of an uncertain economy.
 
We have so much to celebrate. But with any significant endeavor there are challenges. I simply want to share with you where we are in the journey and to communicate openly, honestly, and transparently. Stewardship is not about you meeting the needs of the church or institution. It’s about our need to be faithful, generous followers of Jesus Christ in all that we do, all that we have, and all that we are.
 
Here is a brief synopsis of where we are at this point:
 
1) In a major expansion such as ours the majority of the costs are front loaded; meaning the current congregation has pledged to build a facility designed for a congregation that is to come. It normally takes a year to a year-and-a-half in a new facility to welcome and receive the number of new people who will begin to come because of the visibility and vibrancy of a congregation like Arborlawn. As new people come to the church, it takes a period of six months to a year for those individuals to find their place in the life and ministry of the church and to establish giving patterns that reflect their commitment to the ministry and discipleship. In short, we’ve built a church with the anticipation and confidence that we will grow significantly. In reality it takes some time before the initial commitment of funding is offset by those who come in the first twelve to eighteen months.
 
2) Until May the church was making adequate progress toward the funding of our apportionments which represent our commitment to giving beyond the local church through the connectional system of the United Methodist Church. Apportionments represent Missional giving to various ministries locally and globally. Summer is normally a more difficult time financially for the church with people away on extended vacations and sporadic attendance patterns. Normally we begin to turn the corner in September and finish strong in December with generous year end contributions. This year has been somewhat of an anomaly. The normally expected rise in giving was offset by numerous costs related to the completion and opening of our new facilities. Cost escalations, unexpected but necessary expenditures, and expenses related to our opening made a significant impact on our ability to cover the apportionments.
 
3) Our expenses have also increased in terms of increased utilities, insurance, and debt service. Again, those front loaded costs are being borne by the existing congregation but will be offset as we continue to grow in the coming years.
 
4) To date we’ve paid $80,792.00 of our 2011 apportionments which total $265,274.00. The good news is that our overall giving has increased this year. Unfortunately, the costs related to the opening of the building are having a negative impact on our ability to fulfill our commitments to apportionment giving.
 
5) The staff and leadership have been diligent in seeking creative ways to be good stewards of our resources. To bridge the gap as we continue to grow, the finance team and staff have reduced our expenses related to programs and administrative costs by at least 10 percent and much more in other ministry areas. For the second year in a row the staff has declined any raises. We are willing partners with you in bridging the gap of the first year in our new facility as we continue to grow.
 
Here’s what you can do to help partner with others in the church:
 
1) Pray. Pray not for the financial well being of the church but for spiritual health and maturity of a congregation that seeks to do more than raise funds. We are about building the kingdom and changing lives. Pray that we will be true to our mission and that we will honor our vows to uphold the church through our prayers, our presence, our gifts, our service, and our witness.
 
2) Return the 2012 commitment card or go online at ArborlawnUMC.org/give to set up your contributions and commitment to the ministry of the church. It’s an important statement of faith and a key barometer of confidence as we move forward in ministry as a church. If every member made a commitment to the church we would truly be a healthy, vibrant body of Christ.
 
3) Remember. This is not simply a financial challenge. It’s a very real opportunity to reexamine our priorities and align them with our faith and values as individuals and as a church. With every challenge comes an opportunity to learn the better lessons of who we are and what we are called to do.
 
As someone much wiser than me once said: “If it’s not hard, it’s probably not worth doing.” Often the work of the church is hard work. But God knows it’s worth it; which means it’s worthy of our best efforts. You are remarkable. I look forward to what God has in store for all of us in the coming years. I am honored to serve with you.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Chancel Choir holding special Open Rehearsal on October 26

By Martha Darwin
 
Would you like to see what things look like in the new sanctuary from the choir loft, looking out on the congregation? Maybe you're curious to hear what the sounds are like from up there, too? Chancel Choir rehearsals are always open, but on Wednesday night Oct. 26, we want to issue a special invitation for you to join us for our rehearsal!
 

Come sit with us while we work on music for Sunday worship and Advent. We will look for you at 7 p.m. so we can find a good seat for you before rehearsal begins, and there will be some light refreshments following rehearsal. We can't wait to see you there - in the Sanctuary; another opportunity for you to explore Arborlawn.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org

Mystery donor gives to the church

In June the church received a generous gift through a stock transfer that was handled by the brokerage firm of Merrill Lynch. The gift involved the transfer of proceeds from the sale of Novartis stock (NVS). Unfortunately we were unable to obtain the name of the original donor so that we could express our appreciation and fulfill their wishes in directing the generous contribution to the ministry area of their choice. If you have any information that might be helpful, please contact Joe Melhart in the church office at 817-731-0701. In the future, whenever a stock transfer is made please notify the church office so we can properly acknowledge the generosity of the gift and ensure it goes to the desired area of ministry.
 
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ArborlawnUMC.org