Arborlawn’s annual Hope for the Holidays service returns November 17. Join us at 7 p.m. that night as we minister to the hurting hearts in our congregation and beyond. The holidays are a tough time for so many, especially the grieving, and we all benefit from circling around those people and helping them through this time of the year.
In this week’s issue of The Vine, we present part one of Coping Strategies for Grief During the Holidays.
Coping Strategies for Grief During the Holidays
Part 1
You are not alone. Holidays are often difficult for anyone who has recently experienced a significant loss. The death of someone loved, the end of a relationship or a job, even a relocation can bring feelings of sadness, loss and emptiness during times that have normally meant family togetherness, joyful sharing and thanksgiving.
Since love does not end with death or separation, holidays may result in a renewed sense of personal grief- a feeling of loss unlike that experienced in the routine of daily living. The symptoms of grief that you’d thought were finally over or behind you seem to be recycling again. They may include feelings of un-reality, physical distress with heart palpitations, abdominal pain, changes in appetite, weight change, difficulty sleeping, crying, sighing, shortness of breath, etc. This is very normal during the holidays.
Society encourages you to just join right in with the holiday festivities, while all around you, the sounds, sights and smells trigger memories. While no simple guidelines exist to take away the hurt you are feeling, the following suggestions may help you better cope with your grief during this joyful, yet painful time of the year.
First, remember to be as compassionate and considerate of yourself as you would someone else grieving a loss. Give yourself permission to lower your expectations.
During the holiday season, don’t be afraid to express your feelings of grief. Find caring friends and relatives who will listen without judging you and them know how difficult certain aspects of the holiday season can be for you.
Be tolerant of your physical and emotional limits. Whenever grief re-visits, so does its partner ‘fatigue’. Anticipate lower energy. Respect what your body is trying to say to you and lower your expectations about being at your peak during the holiday season.
[Materials in Part 1 adapted from Dr. Alan Wolfelt, Center for Loss and Life, The Last Dance by Lynn Ann De Spelder, and compiled by Deb Sewell, The Spirit Whispering Music. We will continue next week with Part 2.]
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